#001 – Custom Record Storage

So I crossed a big big chore off of my massive list.

May I present to you, dear readers, the ultimate custom record shelf.

The thought of my records being improperly shoved in crates actually kept me from falling asleep at night. There were so many nights spent going “I am actually going to do this tomorrow” and then I kind of did.

I envisioned a Tetris piece but knew it would be too difficult. I spent a few weeks scouring construction sites, determined to be as cost-effective as possible. I have many old dusty boards sitting in my garage (although some of them may have been used to feed our bonfire).

Then I enlisted the help of a really awesome person. He helped me plan it, and told me what wood to buy and how much, and then built it for me because I literally had no idea what I was doing. So that was awesome. And now I have it! And he said it only took him an hour. The materials for that (plywood, wood glue, screws) cost roughly $45 at Home Depot. Labour? I would probably guess like $9000, but he was nice enough to do it for free. Yeah, he’s pretty awesome.

I have some pictures of the painting process – it was much longer than an hour. Like, twelve hours. Because I get distracted easily and took many swimming breaks. Then I eventually just got completely frustrated and left it as is. It looks pretty nice though.

The very helpful staff at Barrydowne Paints knew I had little idea as to what was going on – I very stupidly thought that I could use my acrylic paints to cover this thing. I was wrong. Actually I was wrong about everything. The paints cost more than the actual materials to build it, but I wasn’t too mad about it, because the blue I found was absolutely perfect. It was the first blue that I picked up out of all of the paint chips at the store, and the name suited it amazingly. That beautiful colour is called Aruba Blue and I want to paint all of the roads in Sudbury with it or something.

Right before painting. Used my only drop sheet to work on, it was still tacky from a stupid rock I painted a month or so earlier. So that left some blue footprints on the garage floor. When Barry dropped it off he walked up them like stairs because it’s so strong structurally.

The first day’s painter picks. Lots of Bobs present.

All primed up with no place to go.

I was so excited after this first coat of paint. Notice some of my collection in the background, I started to get excited and knew that some of the records wanted to come out and look at their new home.

I was originally planning on splattering the insides with a bunch of blue. Then I stared at it some more, went swimming, and decided to paint the insides.

By far the worst part of it all. It took so long, but it made it so much better. The bugs were pretty bad at this point so I called it a night.

Here it is from a different angle. So shiny.

The next day I started working on a design. The paint wasn’t drying fast enough due to the humidity so I brought out the big guns – my Dad’s heat lamp. Really helped to speed things along.

Was so anxious to take that tape off. I’m so impatient.

…Fuck.

I wanted it to be much cleaner but I’m a dummy who forgot it was made of wood, not canvas. But I decided that I wanted it to be done and I didn’t care about it and convinced myself it looks cool. So I’m happy with it now.

The final result. I am so stoked. It looks absolutely beautiful in person.

I still haven’t alphabetized them all yet but that will be soon. I haven’t been home much because it’s summer.

#003 – Cody

Cody is a friend of mine that I have known for many moons. Our less than stellar part-time jobs happened to be in the same strip mall and we had some mutual friends. Now he works with my sister and is in a local band called Echoes The Lion. My sister had suggested that I interview him next, and I’m really glad that I did. His collection is well-curated and in fantastic condition. He really knows his stuff, and had a lot to say about everything vinyl related, so it was super fun.

That’s such an awesome record player.

Thank you!

Where did you get it?

Cosmic Dave’s.

Yeah! When did you get it?

Oh jeez, that’s a good question. 2012 I think.

Nice!

Yeah, it was summer 2012.

Good needle too. A good setup. 

It’s almost time to change it too. It’s not skipping or anything, it’s j-

Oh my gosh, you have two copies of Brand New [Déjà Entendu]!

Yeah, I’m definitely going to be talking about those.

Awesome. Let’s get going! So, when did you start collecting?

I started collecting when I was 16. So 2006. Back then the only store was Records On Wheels, so that’s where I would go. My first purchase there was Funeral by Arcade Fire.

Really! That’s a good one. 

Yeah! My grandma brought in a record player – I worked at our family business back then. I was intrigued by it, so I wondered if there was any place where you can still go buy records, or even if they still made records. That was back before the revival really happened. I ended up going to Records On Wheels on my lunch hour. I went and bought Funeral, then the next day I went back and bought Reconstruction Site by The Weakerthans.

Cool! So what’s the most recent one you’ve bought?

Actually, just got one yesterday in the mail. Where is it… I should know because they’re all in alphabetical order… here it is. So I just got this yesterday.

Awesome. Where did you end up finding these cabinets?

This is an old media cabinet that my Mom had – when I moved out, I thought they would be perfect for my records, but I just made an AutoCAD drawing for an actual shelf that I’d like to make. It just comes down to having the time and the money to do everything.

I just made one [with help from an awesome guy]! Oh god, I’m so jealous of this. (It was Ashtray Rock by Joel Plaskett Emergency… a holy grail album for me.)

Actually I got that at Cosmic Dave’s!

Really?! You can’t order them any more!

Really?

They’re out of print I think, but he has some on his website. (At this point Cody tried to give me the album for free and we later negotiated a trade – my copy of Bahamas – Barchords for this one. So stoked. Anyways, at this point we started discussing Brand New.)

So why do you have two copies?

I have the new one, and I have the second pressing. The first one is worth the most – I’ve seen it go for around $600 online, and the second one goes for up to $400. The second pressing is my baby, I don’t play this. I’ve maybe played it once. So it’s opened, but it’s in the thickest sleeve I could find. So I just bought this new pressing which is my listening copy.

And you have blink-182! Those are starting to come out again and they’re super expensive. 

Funny thing about those – my blink records are on a label called Mightier Than Sword, which isn’t around any more. One is out of 250, and one is out of 300. They’re super super limited, and for a band like that which usually puts them in the thousands range… I just remembered snagging them and thinking about their worth and how lucky I was. I don’t really listen to these ones either. I mean, sometimes I do, obviously – because what’s the point of having it if you’re not going to listen to it?

There’s this vinyl subreddit, and I remember seeing this post about what you do with a super rare sealed record… you open up and play it. I think that’s awesome. 

Yeah!

Okay, so what have you played recently? Something you picked up, whatever you wanna talk about. 

That’s a good question actually. I just got Title Fight, it just came out in February. When I was in school I listened to it while doing my homework, and I just started really getting into it. You know when you first listen to an album and you kinda listen to it here and there? Anyways I just put it on about a month ago and remembered that it’s actually awesome.

Cool!

Other than that… I finally got Dark Side Of The Moon, which is crazy.

Hey, nice! Used or new copy?

It’s new. It’s the nineties remaster, the one that has all the posters and stuff in it. I know they just did the Immersion box sets and all that. But my Dad got it when he was in Toronto with Mark actually!

That’s wicked!

So he asked Mark where he could find a copy of it, because my favourite era of Pink Floyd is the Roger Waters era, so Wish You Were Here, The Wall, things like that… even though that’s their best album, so yeah.

Is this Smiths one new? [The Queen Is Dead]

That one I bought in 2011. I think I got this the first time I ever went to Cosmic Dave’s – I was blown away. A friend brought me there for the first time, and I was like, “what is this place?!”

That’s so great!

I just liked it because his prices were fair. It makes it easy to support the business. I mean, I was working at Arby’s at the time, so it was cool. I’m trying to think of other recent ones I’ve picked up… it’s hard to keep track. I’m at like 180 records or something – I’m sure you’ve seen way bigger collections than this, but this is my collection. I haven’t snagged records from anybody else – some people inherit them from their parents or whatever. I have maybe a handful from my Dad’s collection, but most of them were either gone, like there was a sleeve but no record, which is shitty, because there were copies of Rush and stuff that would be cool to have. Actually, we can talk about this one, because it’s my favourite album of last year…

What is it?

So this is a band called Foxing. You probably know this, but there’s this emo revival going on, and when I was growing up, I really liked that kind of stuff… I fucking hate that word, because it got sullied… pop punk got sullied, like my background of music. Stuff like Fall Out Boy and Panic! At The Disco, I hated that shit. It’s terrible. When that stuff started getting big, you almost feel like your territory is getting stepped on a bit. Kind of like real commercial indie rock. Is it really indie rock? I don’t know, when there’s big labels behind it, it kind of loses its meaning a little bit. And there’s a lot of other things. Sorry, I’m rambling.

No! That’s okay! 

But I’ve been kind of infatuated with it. I have a few records that have just come out in the past few years that are around the same genre or sub genre, whatever you want to call it.

Yeah. 

This one, I don’t know, I would recommend it to anybody who’s into really big sounding albums. This one has a lot of atmosphere and emotion in it. It’s not heavy, it’s got a lot of trumpets… I don’t know how to explain it, other than to check it out. It’s very very very good.

I’ll listen to that. 

Yeah, a lot of the bands that are taking off – I don’t know if you know American Football…

Yeah. 

A lot of bands are getting inspired by that sound. I have a couple of records by them that are my night time records, you know?

Yeah, totally. 

I was just finishing high school, it was the first time I heard American Football. I used to listen to it all the time at night when I was going to sleep because it’s the kind of music that’s like a lullaby.

Yeah. So do you have any records that you’ve bought at shows?

Yes! I want to talk about that… I’m having a High Fidelity moment… I have [my collection] sorted alphabetically, but do I want them sorted alphabetically by year, newest to old… right now they’re alphabetically then by album name, but… yeah! But yeah, ones that I’ve bought at shows… not that the Townehouse hasn’t gotten any good acts, but I’ve gotten a few from shows there. I bought these two at my favourite Townehouse show ever.

What are they?

Tokyo Police Club.

Yeah? When?

Uh, jeez… I think I have the ticket in here. I do! Gimme a second.

Yeah!

I’m all about keeping stuff.

So you bought them both at the same show?

Yeah!

Nice. 

Well I couldn’t say no to getting their first, because I’ve wanted it since it came out. The funny thing about this band is that… oh god, when did that come out… I was in high school, and I think I found it on iTunes, the first time I ever bought an iTunes card, back when those were a thing. Them and Bombay Bicycle Club.

I noticed that you don’t have the new one. 

The newest one by Bombay?

So Long, See You Tomorrow? I think it’s called?

Yep. I have it digitally, which obviously isn’t as good.

Did you like it though?

I’d have to say that it’s probably my least favourite – I like it though. There’s nothing wrong with it at all. I like the direction that they’re going in, it’s just that-

You do have the ticket!

Yes! There it is. With the corner ripped off. I just remembered a funny story from that show. You know Sam, right? I went there with her and another person at the time and it was like my first time going to a big show at the Townehouse. I think Born Ruffians were playing a week later and I went to that too. And they started playing old songs off of the first album because we kept yelling at them to do it. Now that I’m older, I’m thinking that they probably fucking hated us, but once they started playing songs from that album I just remember losing my mind and next thing you know Sam’s on the ground and people just started trampling over each other, it was ridiculous.

That’s awesome. 

It was a good time. Oh yeah, so Bombay Bicycle Club. So that was kind of a funny story. I don’t know if he still does this at Cosmic Dave’s, but he used to have records behind the cash, a little area at the bottom, and I remember going through there and – once again though, going back to the iTunes story with Bombay Bicycle Club I remember when their EP came out, and they’re younger than me I think. And I was so blown away – it was so amazing, especially for how young they are. So I kind of lost track after that… I think they put out another EP and a single until they released their debut, and I just kind of lost interest… not interest, it just kind of slipped my mind. I think in 2009 when it came out, I was probably a couple of months late but I had seen it online. Their first one is my favourite. Hopefully the plastic isn’t messing up the picture.

No! I don’t think so. 

So yeah, it was my first time there too – going through that little section and then I saw it, and I remember asking, “how do you have Bombay Bicycle Club here?!” I had only been to Records on Wheels prior, so you only see the really popular indie records and the really popular rock/jazz records, stuff like that.

Yeah.

So I was just blown away, I found Say Hi, which is one of my favourite bands from high school. So yeah, I picked this up right away. I couldn’t find it anywhere except online, and online they were ridiculously expensive. You know the site Discogs? I think my second most priciest record, I don’t know if it still stands, but last time I checked it was really expensive.

I love that cover too. 

This is their magnum opus, you know? I remember recommending it to Mark and he liked it, and even did a little shout out on Facebook for it, and I got him to order it in then he ordered in a bunch of other copies because he liked it. It’s just one of those albums that’s a trip on its own.

I really liked So Long, See You Tomorrow because Mark had an in store copy of it. So I would listen to it often, then it was filed away and haven’t listened to it recently. 

I have to pick it up, because I’m pretty huge on having discographies. I have a few full collections, like my Japandroids collection is awesome even though I don’t listen to them much any more. But I have everything, even the singles collection. They’re numbered on the back.

Wicked!

I had two and three, then they put out four, could never find one, and then I was following it on Discogs waiting for someone to post it, then someone finally put it up for ten bucks so now I have all of them. It’s kind of cool

It’s really cool! Why do you feel the need to have everything?

Because I’m crazy!

I get that. 

No really though. It’s just nice, especially with bands I really like, to have the choice available to me. At least I have it on vinyl, I don’t have to rely on a digital copy because, well, I didn’t buy a six hundred dollar record player for nothing. With the revival of vinyl, people buy Crosleys and stuff like that.

Oh I know, I know. 

Yeah, I’m sure you hear enough about that.

People come into the store and they’re like, can I order a Crosley? And I’m like, yeah, I GUESS but you’re not going to want it. But at the same time too, for kids in high school, who are just starting out… you know?

Oh I totally know. I had a shitty record player for a while, until I could afford that. But the ones with the built-in speakers, I just don’t understand… you might as well just plug in your headphones into your phone, it’s the same sound. For me, it’s always been about quality and collecting… I remember when my collection was like a quarter of the size for the longest time. When I was in high school I couldn’t afford to buy records, I just didn’t have the cash. So for a while I just had this stack of like twenty records in my basement, and it wasn’t until someone brought me to Cosmic Dave’s that everything changed. I think that like 75% of my cheques from Arby’s went to records. Then it got to a point where I thought I should probably stop doing that. I could spend way too much money on this stuff, and I have ongoing wants all the time. Ask Karly [Cody’s girlfriend], she knows.

So what’s one that you really want?

Oh god, there’s a bunch that I really want. I can’t even pull one out right now, because I just got that Title Fight record. I still really want the first Dashboard Confessional record, I listened to that when I was a wee one. I remember watching MTV unplugged or something when I was a little kid, and I remember that was the first time I had seen them. One of the members was also in a band called Further Seems Forever, which I listened to at the time but totally didn’t get the connection. When I was older and found that out, it all made sense. I remember considering having a list on the side of my cabinet for the longest time, and just scratch them out as I got them. Then I realized that that’s a bad idea. Have you seen a lot of weird coloured ones? I have a few weird ones in here.

Yeah! Let me see!

Okay.

I also noticed you had The Unicorns on vinyl!

Yes I do!

Okay. That. Like. Okay. I just ordered it because I finally was like, I NEED to have this, this is one of my favourite albums. I love it so much. 

Well I’ve read a few posts you’ve put up before, and I saw that Matt had it. And it is really awesome.

I’m so excited to get my copy!

I had a friend that got me into this record. It was 2011, and a lot of my friends were amazed that I hadn’t heard of it yet. But are they back now?

No, Nick Diamonds just released a solo album and is focusing on that right now. They were back last year, they played a couple of shows. 

That’s what I heard, just didn’t know if they were back fully. There’s a whole bunch of reunions going on the past couple of years.

Yeah. Totally.

So yeah, crazy vinyl. Do you know who Kevin Devine is?

No, I’ve heard the name before. 

He’s a singer-songwriter. He’s best friends with Jesse Lacey from Brand New, so he used to open up for them all the time, and that’s how I caught wind of him. You go to Youtube, type in the name of your favourite band’s videos, and then he popped up. But I actually heard of Kevin Devine in a weird coincidental way, now that I think of it. I think I was sixteen or seventeen when some guy made my cousin a mix CD. And she hated it, so she asked me if I wanted it, and I kinda said I guess? Okay? But the song Longer That I’m Out Here was on it, which is corny and shitty nowadays when I listen to it, but then I went on Youtube and saw that he opened for Brand New, and I kind of checked it out more. Now I have every single record of his except for two, and just like Brand New records, they’re extremely hard to find.

Yeah.

They’re all limited pressings – I get messages on Record Nerd all the time for the first one he put out. It has a good cover of Harvest Moon on it.

Oh cool!

I’ve had many offers on this but they’re always too low – not that I would sell it anyway. I’ve had offers on records before, but I can’t bring myself to sell stuff that’s worth this much to me. I don’t know, there’s so much sentimental value to these, and I think that everybody can relate to that with their record collection – it’s not just owning an album – I have so many memories with these albums. Well, most of them. But anyways, he did a Kickstarter a few years ago and put out two albums at the same time. These are actually the UK copies – they’re limited, and I’m really into getting the most limited ones, but-

WHOA! That’s crazy! Glitter!

So these are the weirdest ones I have. There’s some that are all mixed and swirled, but as soon as I saw that it was on purple glitter vinyl, I wondered what it was… I googled it and no pictures any where, so I thought it was interesting. When I got it in, I posted a picture online the day I got them because they were so amazing.

That’s awesome. 

But it was supposed to be one green one purple, but there was a mess up at the factory so they’re both purple, but who cares, they’re still awesome. It’s just a colour.

So do you usually buy online, or in store?

I’m going to say that about 60% of my collection comes from Cosmic Dave’s, guaranteed. Like I said, the real bulk of my collection was from going there regularly. Ever since I went back to school, I haven’t had the cash to really buy records, only here and there. This hasn’t gotten any bigger since I moved here, which was almost two years ago. It’s kind of shitty now, because I have to pick and choose what I need, whereas before I would go to Cosmic Dave’s, grab five, come home, get sad because I didn’t have any more money but would listen to records anyway.  I’m a huge fan of shopping locally – keep the money here. I got my record player and my speakers at the store too. The thing is that prices online used to be good, but shipping got expensive, the exchange rate is shit… like, that Title Fight record. I bought it online because I thought I was saving a few bucks but it was still like thirty bucks. I remember when I used to be able to snag a record online for twenty bucks but it’s not like that any more.

That’s like how Bleed American by Jimmy Eat World is due to be repressed in August. 

Again.

Again!

I want that so badly. I’ve been looking for the triple vinyl that came out on Record Store Day like three years ago.

But so that’s being repressed, and the Offspring – Americana just got repressed, and the labels bumped up the prices, which is stupid, because there’s no gatefold or anything… I don’t know why they’re doing that. 

That’s the thing too, I would get it if the packaging was elaborate – I don’t really care about that though. I know that the new Father John Misty had a big pop up thing, and it was like sixty bucks, which is cool for the fact that it’s limited and is something that with age becomes cooler. My Brand New record – which I could talk about forever, because that’s an interesting story – you know that I have the second pressing and the newest one, but that second pressing came out in 2007. The album itself came out in 2003, there’s a pressing of 1000, and that was it. And I don’t know if you know Brand New fans – they’re insane. I’ve been to once concert, and the people made me sick, because they treat the band like gods. They’re just a band, it’s not a big deal. But that’s beside the point. Some guy approached me because it was on my Want list on Record Nerd, and he said that he would sell me his copy for $200, and I said it wasn’t going to happen. But I also thought, shit. When’s the next one going to come out, you know? And I mean, I had the money at the time, but $200, that’s insane, right? Even now, I would never ever ever spend that much money on a record, because it’s scalping, which is terrible. That’s why it’s so high. I’m glad they pressed a new version, because it was getting to a point where even The Devil And God Are Raging Inside Me got to stupid prices. So literally the day that happened, on Triple Crown’s website I had put in my email two years before to remind me when it was back in stock. That day, I am not kidding you, when the guy messaged me, the second pressing went up.

No way!

And I got it. I remember sending him a snarky message back telling him that I had just picked up the second pressing.

That’s amazing!!!

Yeah, it’s not the first pressing, but it’s the next best thing. It sounds pretentious, I’m not like that at all though. My life isn’t over, it’s not a big deal. But it’s just something cool to have. I was taken by surprise when they recently repressed it. The Devil And God Are Raging Inside Me album was one I had two copies of, but I gave one to my friend, because this one is on black. What happened was this label in the UK, Music On Vinyl, and they did a copy. They had a stupid sticker on the front. They actually stuck it to the copy, which sucked. A part of me didn’t care, but that’s really shitty. Why not just put it on the plastic? A bunch of people were pissed. I remember going to the comments section of the store page and people were raging about the sticker. It’s not a huge deal, but people tried pulling it off and it ripped the art. And when it comes to these, I don’t want to rip them.

That one was pressed on clear vinyl though. I don’t have it any more, my friend has it. This one’s on black like the rest of mine, so it fits more. And it’s on Triple Crown too so it all fits in. But yeah, that’s enough about my Brand New records. Actually, the same thing happened with my blink-182 vinyl too. I gave a copy of the self-titled to my friend. I had bought it from Discogs, and it was a Hot Topic pressing or whatever, and it was out of 2500. Then this one came out and it was only out of 300, so I gave him my original copy. But that one came on hot pink, and the other was on teal, like the colours of the album art. Mine’s just green.

Speaking of UK pressings, I have a whole bunch of really weird ones. Like this one. This is a German import of essentially Endless Summer, with two different songs on it.

That’s amazing!

What’s even more amazing is the gatefold. It’s great. I’m a huge Beach Boys fan. My Dad and I used to drive to the island all the time listening to the 20 Good Vibrations CD, I still have it. But people always ask me why I don’t have Beatles records… it’s the first thing people tend to look for when they look at my record collection. I have one Beatles record, it’s my Dad’s, it’s terrible. It’s Live At The Hollywood Bowl. All you hear is screaming. I don’t know, I’ve always been more of a Beach Boys guy than a Beatles guy.

That’s cool. 

I have a funny story about this one. When I went to see Telekinesis in Toronto for the first time.

Oh no way!

They signed it. But I asked them if they had their first record, because the guy was at the merch booth. It was also my birthday too, I was totally star struck, not that it matters, but you know. This first album is a German pressing. This didn’t come out in the States until recently, I think last year. But I asked him if he had a copy, and he said that he didn’t even have a copy of it. So, I have one. I made sure to find that. There’s another EP that came out by him too – I don’t have many 10” records, only that and Radiohead, but I always loved them. Apparently they’re the most expensive things to press, because they’re odd. When would you ever really need one though, you know? The nice thing about the first Telekinesis record is that there’s an EP at the end.

Do you have any local bands on vinyl at all?

I just asked Hello Holiday if they pressed vinyl, I really wanted one of those. My friend bought Geyser’s album at a show. I have This Ship Will Burn, I bought this for three dollars. It’s Tyler, the bassist for my band, it’s his old band.

I’m going to fix these later. Maybe now is the time to organize my records.

It’s a good day to do it, it’s like thirty degrees outside. 

Yeah, it’s hot as hell in here, sorry.

Oh, it’s okay. We should wrap this up soon though. Do you think that vinyl is here to stay?

Yes. I hope to god it is, because of the investment in it and I want to keep making that investment. I think that going to shows and being able to pick these up… even in the record stores, it’s nice to just browse through. It’s incredible what you can find. I remember hearing stories from my Dad about going and picking up records… there was no Internet, there’s no way to do any sort of research, which is something that I feel our generation misses. When I buy a record, chances are I’ve already heard it. There are a few in here that I’ve picked up on a dime and they’re awesome or shitty. But it’s nice when you pick one up out of the blue and it’s lucky because you end up liking it. Oh wait, I gotta tell you quickly about my bootleg records.

Yeah! I wanna take a picture of this one. 

This is a bootleg copy of Love Will Tear Us Apart – it’s not an original at all because it’s not a 7”. It’s kind of crazy, mixed colour vinyl. It has the original b-side but it also has two live tracks. I also have this Amy Winehouse bootleg, it’s all of her ska covers. Someone hand wrote A and B on it. I have no idea where this came from, I found it on Discogs. My girlfriend and I both really like her, and I really am into jazzy stuff like that. I don’t have a lot of jazz records right now but I’m getting into them. But yeah, that’s about it.

Okay, I’m gonna stop recording. 

Sorry! I was telling Alex [my sister] that I could talk about this stuff for literally hours, so hopefully you’re okay with that.

#002 – Beauty by Santa Esmerelda

Holy shit.

I think I’m in love with this. This was… unexpected.

You should probably listen to the first side of this album right away so you see what I mean.

So, Santa Esmeralda kicks ass, apparently. I have seen this floating around in one of the dollar bins and thought the cover was horrendous, so of course I had to pick it up.

Seeing as I know NOTHING about Santa Esmeralda, I did a little digging. Turns out they’re a disco band from France and they really really love doing disco covers of pop songs, like The House Of The Rising Sun. The comments, man. The comments are the best part of Youtube.

You can really tell that the band (or a serious fan with a distinct style) has edited parts of their Wikipedia article (so many periods!!!)

They were signed to Casablanca Records, which was known for being a really successful disco label in the 1970s, which is when Santa Esmeralda released this. Kiss is also on this label! It kinda petered out in the 80s, but they did put out the Flashdance soundtrack along with a Robin Williams comedy album.

It went through a revival in the early 2000s, with notable releases coming from Lindsay Lohan and Mika. It was revived yet again with a focus on EDM!

So, back to Santa Esmeralda.

The cover features a hairy beast-like vampire with a normal looking woman hugging him from behind. I’m obviously sensing a Beauty and the Beast type story here. She has a pink flower tucked behind her ear, while vamp dude has a red rose pinned to his jacket. She is wearing a wedding ring, which makes me wonder why she would be a wife to a guy with fangs.

In my search to find out more about the cover, I found this on their Facebook page. It’s so important.

From what I can tell, the hairy guy is named Jimmy Goings and he took over as the lead vocalist for the band in 1979 until 1983. So technically he wasn’t in the band at this point, but the back says “Beauty starring Jimmy Goings” so maybe this was his trial record. I think he passed.

The most expensive copy on Discogs is going for 57 Euros, which means I got a great deal from the dollar bin!

I found Jimmy’s Facebook page on the first page of Google results, and he’s listed as attending “The School of Hard Knox”  but it’s unclear if this was before, during, or after recording this album.

I know that most of you are here in search of a good wine pairing for this album. If you want to stare at the album art in silence, I would suggest a reasonably priced Cabernet Sauvignon.

Verdict: Weird. But – good. Another 4/5 on the weird scale.

#002 – Michael and Mark

Michael and Mark are two awesome brothers who have amazing tastes in music. They both have a very diverse collection with some real gems. The two of them were nice enough to let me check out what they have and gave me some really awesome listening suggestions. Here’s what they had to show me! My questions are in bold, Michael and Mark’s responses are labelled. Their collection is grouped in with their parents’ so we talked a little bit about that first.

Note: I know that my pictures are horrible!!! I drank too much coffee. My hands were really shaky. 

Michael: So my Dad was really into the eighties pop and rock and jazz, and kind of synthy stuff, and my Mom has some really weird prog rock and some Jethro Tull and other out there shit, this one always blew my mind.

What is it?

Michael: It’s Jethro Tull, but it’s a book too.

So when did you guys start collecting?

Michael: I started around last year, but you’ve had some for a while.

Mark: When I was twelve, I started getting classic rock records, like the Beatles and Iron Maiden. I probably got rid of it though because I don’t really like them any more. But yeah, I had some, but then got more into it when I started going to shows, then I started to buy a lot more. Hope bought me a lot of records, and that kind of helped kick start it, because she bought me ten consecutively at one point then from there I started to buy more. Are we out of peanut butter Michael?

Michael: I don’t know, I haven’t had some in a while.

Mark: That’s really sad, it’s the only thing to eat right now.

Do you guys know what the first record you each bought was?

Michael: Yeah! Gimme a second to find it.

Mark: The very first one I got, I didn’t buy it, was Arcade Fire’s The Suburbs, which I got for my birthday when I was fourteen from my friend Niko.

Michael: Mine shows you how new I am to collecting. Bought this [St. Vincent’s self-titled release] in 2014 when it came out from Cosmic Dave’s.

Do you remember the feeling of buying your first record?

Michael: It was great. You spend a lot of time, like, man, this artwork is so much better than a CD. It’s so much more detailed. You get the bug right away.

Okay, so what’s the most recent record you guys have bought or received?

Mark: The most recent record I have received is…

Michael: The Elwins maybe?

Mark: No, there was a couple after that. I got Charles Bradley after that for sure. The most recent one I purchased was definitely both Elvis Costellos. I bought them in Toronto.

Michael: I got this one in Toronto too actually, it was a find just in a random section at Rotate This on Queen Street, I’ve been looking for this album for a long time – it’s a remaster, it sounds great.

Nice. Do you guys have albums by your favourite bands?

Mark: Some of them!

Michael: Oh god yeah, absolutely.

What are your favourite bands?

Michael: That’s a tough one. Puts me on the spot.

Mark: I’ll see what I have of my favourite bands, I’ll have to live on the floor here.

Michael: Well we talked about St. Vincent already, that’s one of them.

Do you have Strange Mercy? That’s the only one I have by her.

Michael: Yeah, I have Strange Mercy, Actor and St. Vincent.

Oh my gosh! I remember when you got Actor. 

Michael: Yeah, it was a Christmas present!

Yeah! That was so funny! 

Michael: Gotta keep it a secret!

Don’t look at the records!

[Michael’s family came in and bought him some records and one of them was a St. Vincent release, we had gotten a few in and he happened to come into the store around the same time and I figured he would buy it if he saw it, so I told him not to look.]

Mark: We have a bunch. For me, Jellyfish’s Spilt Milk.

Michael: Pulling that out, for sure.

Mark: Attack In Black. Anaïs Mitchell’s Hadestown for sure. Absolutely one of my favourites.

That’s such a cool cover! [Hadestown]

Mark: It’s a great folk-rock album.

Michael: Jellyfish because it’s especially one of our favourites, for both of us. Where is it?

Mark: It’s lost.

Michael: A-B-C-D-E-F-G… here we go. It’s a horrendous cover.

What about it? I’ve never heard this before. 

Michael: Okay, so these guys were a kinda power-pop band at a time where it really wasn’t cool to do that. I think they put this out in 1993.

1993!

Michael: So it was during grunge and Nirvana and stuff, right? They basically went nowhere and then I guess one of the guys in the band was a giant asshole or something, so they broke up but yeah, it’s Sgt. Pepper’s, but catchier, better.

Mark: I don’t know. To me, it’s in the vein of that, it’s really different and daring. The keys player, Roger Manning, is the best parts arranger for orchestras and stuff, subtly, while kind of blending it in with a rock band.

Michael: Have you ever heard the debut album by fun.?

Mark: Aim and Ignite?

Nope. 

Michael: They became a radio hit with their next album, but their first album is really awesomely orchestrated with accordions and strings.

Really!

Michael: So yeah! It was this guy, Roger Manning, who did all the arranging on their album.

Cool. That’s really cool. I’m gonna listen to that. Okay, what’s the weirdest album you own? Either album art wise, or song wise…

Mark: I think Mike has weirder ones art wise.

Michael: This one’s not that weird art wise, but the songs are really weird so I’ll show you.

Mark: Dirty Projectors is ridiculous looking.

Michael: Oh! Yeah! That stupid art!

What is it?

Michael: You know Dirty Projectors most recent release?

Maybe. 

Michael: What’s it called… this one here. Swing Lo Magellan.

Yeah! I remember that. What’s weird about it?

Michael: I don’t know, it’s just a picture of them teaching their neighbour what they do or something. It’s just a random shot of them.

I remember that album was super popular when it came out, and I didn’t really understand the whole vibe from it, but then I listened to it at the record store and was like, this is actually super good. 

Michael: Yeah, they’re really good. They’re really weird, I found it took me around five or six listens to understand what they were doing at all, because he is a very unconventional songwriter. But I love it. I wanna talk about this one though.

Michael: Funnily enough, she’s a current member of the Dirty Projectors. Her name is Olga Bell, and I think she lives in New York City, but I guess she felt a huge connection to her Russian heritage, so she wrote this album. It’s kind of similar to a classical composition that she did by herself, she sang about six different parts and modulated her voice to sing the male parts as well. It’s all in Russian too. It’s definitely the weirdest listening experience I had, but was super cool. It’s very desolate. That’s another one that took me a couple of listens but then I got into it.

The artwork is very simple. I like that. 

Michael: Yeah, it seems really regal.

That’s awesome. Do you guys have records that you’ve bought at shows?

Mark: Yes absolutely.

Hey, that’s signed!

Mark: Yeah!

They didn’t release the new one on vinyl yet, right?

Mark: They have now. I haven’t seen a physical copy but I saw they wrote on Facebook about it. I also have Shotgun Jimmie.

Nice!

Michael: This one I just bought a couple of weeks ago. It’s Hop Along. I saw them in Toronto. I just discovered them about a month ago and they’re one of my favourite bands. This just came out a couple of months ago.

Okay so, what did I ask the last time? What’s a band that you don’t have any records by, that you love, that you want. Like holy grail stuff.

Michael: Oh man, so, you know Thrice?

Yeah.

Michael: So Thrice released these two albums, The Alchemy Index one, two, three and four. They’re about different elements, so there’s a fire one, which is kinda punky, screamy, rock. Then there’s the water one which is more ambient and electronic, air which sounds more prog/alternative, then there’s earth, which is more country and laid-back and acoustic. So they released a box set of the four of them, and I don’t know how many they made, but it was just a couple thousand… I could be totally wrong, but they didn’t make many, but anyways they sold them, went out of print and never made them again. So it’s this beautiful box with all four and it’s kind of like that Jethro Tull one with a booklet and all this art, and they go for like five hundred bucks on eBay.

Oh my god! I hate that. 

Michael: Yeah. So that’s what I’d like off the top of my head.

Mark: There’s been a couple of Record Store Day releases over the past few years, limited run cool stuff. Nothing is really jumping out at me, but I haven’t really scoured sites and that sort of thing. When you say that you want a “holy grail” thing it implies a certain elusiveness, which I haven’t necessarily found, but just by nature of having a really small record collection, I want to have a lot more of what I listen to on vinyl in general. Which is achievable, but expensive.

What’s something that you listen to on your phone or something that you would want on vinyl?

Mark: I would really really like to have a couple of things that I’ve gotten into lately. A band called Algiers.

Yes. I’ve listened to their album. 

Mark: Yes, it’s their debut, and a guy named Andy Schauf. I’ve gotten really into both lately and I find that hi-fidelity – playing it on our nicer audio system would really go the distance because both albums have really dark connotations and really interesting production, so I’m hoping to pick up both records at some point. I don’t even think that Algiers is on vinyl.

I just heard it on a CD at the station. It’s really good. 

Michael: It’s funny how sometimes you can listen to a vinyl and you can tell it’s just basically a CD rip. Then you have these bands that clearly recorded in analogue and it sounds a lot different on a record player. It’s when something has that real sound, it almost becomes your favourite record.

Mark: Spilt Milk, when you mentioned holy grail, was really something that I wanted forever. Ever since I started buying records, I have wanted that one on vinyl.

Michael: We got it at Sonic Boom in Toronto, and after I bought it, I was obsessively calling Mark until he picked up so I could say, “guess what I bought!”

That’s so amazing! Is there anything else you would want to talk about?

Mark: There’s a neat story I have with Cosmic Dave’s with this record I have. This was a limited Record Store Day run of this Dessa album [Castor, The Twin], a hip hop artist from somewhere in the states. But it was a limited run of around a thousand copies total, and I asked Mark [Cosmic Dave’s Mark] if he could get it and he said probably not, and I just said “okay.” But then he called me and it came in! So it’s a really neat record to have and was baffled that Mark actually got it in. Very bizzare.

Michael: Yeah, she’s cool. Do you know Doomtree? They’re a hip hop collective, and she’s a member of that.

Thanks Michael and Mark!!

#001 – Reviews With Parents: Richard Marx

After writing this turntable rant I realized something: I know absolutely nothing about Richard Marx.

When I picked up his self-titled debut album from the dollar bin at the record store, Mark said “I should be paying YOU to take this!” so I knew I was getting into something REALLY good.

I enlisted the help of my parents (mostly my Dad, which you will soon find out why) to help me review this album. It was my first time listening to it, but my parents had it on a disc and were familiar with it. So, my parents and I listened to this gem in the backyard on my Crosley (which has a permanent home in the upstairs garage to play beat-up records outdoors) and we reviewed the album.

The only picture I could find of my Dad and I on the internet – our Quebec City trip in 2008 when we saw Paul McCartney.

I credit my parents for how much music is a part of my daily life, blah blah blah. My Dad’s tastes mostly revolve around classic rock and a little bit of country, and my Mom’s is a little classic rock and a lot of Canadian alternative/indie. Insert the overused “there was always music in my house growing up” sentence here. Actually, in reality, it was mostly outdoors – my parents have a really killer system and we have speaker wire running from the living room, out the window, and strung to the upstairs garage. Kinda hilarious to look at, but you get used to it. Anyways, it’s their wedding anniversary, so of course they jumped at the opportunity to have their bossy, slightly hungover kid demand them to turn off what they were listening to in order to get this review done.

The album started with Should’ve Known Better, a pretty lively track. 

Kallie: Do you know this song?

(My Dad gave the thumbs up here – he was trying to put some boards together in the entrance to the upstairs garage.)

Dad: Richard Marx. He’s kind of like the big haired, late eighties – early nineties Jackson Browne.

Mom: Really.

Dad: He can rock, he does ballads, and I think he was a studio musician for some big acts including Eagles and maybe even Jackson Browne.

My Dad was sort of right here – Richard Marx had several background singer gigs for musicians like Kenny Rogers, Madonna, Whitney Houston and Luther Vandross. However, he was really influenced by the Eagles.

Kallie: So he has some connections.

Dad: I think he was generally known as a really nice guy, like, everyone liked him.

Kallie: Would you go see him now?

Dad: Yes. Just to see him play Don’t Mean Nothing.

Kallie: This might be on this album, I don’t know. Mom said you guys have this on a CD?

Mom: He has it on a CD.

Dad: Yep. He has a song Right Here Waiting that came out probably within a month or two of my brother dying, and every time I hear it I think of my brother.

Kallie: I kind of like this, it’s super eighties. In a good way. Like, driving really fast alone at night and you’re pissed off, or stressed out about something, like, “my girlfriend is kidnapped, I have to go find her!” soundtrack.

Dad: Yeah. And all you see is the flashing street lights as you’re clipping down the road. Camera’s on you, lights on the back window. Haha.

Dad: He probably stuck around for about four or five years on the charts, with three or four songs.

Time for the second track, Don’t Mean Nothing. 

Dad: I love this! It’s a great song – you gotta listen to the words too. I think it’s about the music scene.

He’s right – the song was about the super competitive music scene in California at the time.

Kallie: Do you remember the first time you heard Richard Marx?

Dad: Nope. But I know that it didn’t take me long to begin to appreciate his music, and I would say much quicker than it did for most other musicians in my life… I would say top three. I embraced him rapidly. Because you know me with my music – it takes me a little while.

Dad: He’s talking about coke here – the white snow in California.

Kallie: What’s that?

I take things really literally… I was thinking that the white snow was a reference to a time it ever snowed in California, for real.

Dad: Coke.

Kallie: Ohhhh.

Dad: This is his best, in my opinion. I’m pretty sure he plays guitar.

Kallie: That’s what I thought too but I’m hearing a lot of keyboard action.

Dad: No! Guitar solo Joe Walsh on this track.

Kallie: Oh no way! That’s pretty cool.

Dad: Doesn’t look like he’s playing guitar on anything! That’s pretty good, if you can get Joe Walsh to join you on your first album. That’s impressive. That says to me that he was respected.

Next track: Endless Summer Nights. 

Dad: Wow, another great song. Yeah, he’s got five hit songs off of this. The song that reminds me of my brother isn’t on there though.

Kallie: NO DON’T POOP ON THE GRASS!!!!!!!

Two dogs from next door came into our yard and were doing dog stuff.

Dad: This track made it to top ten on the radio. I’d say it’s probably one of his lesser-known songs, but still known.

Dad: Okay. I met Richard Marx in Toronto. He offered to buy me a beer, but I had to lend him twenty bucks. He still owes me. He doesn’t answer my emails.

Kallie: Are you serious?

Dad: Nope.

Next track: Lonely Heart. 

Dad: I don’t know this one. I think this was probably on the radio too though… I seem to know it, but probably because I had this disc.

Kallie: This is pretty good.

Next track: Hold On To The Nights.

Kallie: Oh! I know this one.

Dad: What do you think of this one?

Kallie: I think it’s the weakest track on this side.

Dad: Yeah, it’s the first real ballad.

Kallie: Alright, on to the second side.

Next track: Have Mercy. 

Kallie: What do you think of this so far?

Mom: I don’t like it and I never will.

Kallie: Did you listen to it a lot?

Mom: I didn’t, he did. It was on the radio.

Kallie: Sounds a little bit like Kenny Loggins.

Mom: Yeah, I don’t really like any of those bands. They just all sound the same, every single song… they change a few notes here and there.

Dad: I didn’t know this one, but I like it too. What did you think of that one?

Mom: Richard Marx?

Dad: Yeah.

Mom: I don’t like him. It’s pop music.

Dad: Did you like him at all ever?

Mom: Nope!

Next track: Remember Manhattan.

Kallie: This track kind of reminds me of a song that would be in an animated movie, like Oliver and Company.

Next track: The Flame of Love. 

Dad: It flips back and forth, eh? From heavier sounds to ballads.

Kallie: Yeah.

Dad: Heavy on the drums. Crisp snare drum in all of his songs. Did I tell you that I met him in Toronto?

Mom: Maybe?

Dad: He walked up and says “can I buy you a drink?” I had to give him twenty bucks. He never gave it back.

Mom: Are you making that up?

Dad: 100%.

Next track: Rhythm of Life. 

Kallie: This is okay.

Dad: It’s kind of in the middle. Piano, good drums, horns too.

Kallie: Yep.

Dad: I never knew this song.

Mom: Is there one more song?

Kallie: Yep!

Mom: Oh god.

Dad: I don’t like this song.

Kallie: Worst on the album?

Dad: So far.

Kallie: The last track is called Heaven Only Knows and I’m guessing it’s a ballad.

Dad: Yeah, probably.

Time for Heaven Only Knows. 

Kallie: Yup. A slow song.

Dad: I would bet that he could still fill 10,000 seat venues. Popular with the baby boomers, except Monika. [my Mom]

Dad: Okay, I’ll give you a wrap up. Four points about him then I’ll rank ’em.

Kallie: Okay!

Dad: Background depth, I’d give that an 8/10, which is pretty good. Vocals, 8. He can be a little edgy when he does heavier songs, but when he does the slower songs like this he can do well.

Mom: He’s got some serious help though, listen to the echo in his voice.

My Mom really hates Richard Marx, it’s hilarious.

Dad: Popularity and his reach, I’d give him a 9, for hitting the market at the right time. And his hair, fucking 10.

Kallie: Okay, the verdict – on the “Damn, this is good” scale?

Dad: 4.25/5 just to mix it up a bit.

Dad: The wrap-up – when I hear a Richard Marx song, it usually picks me up. Having this record in your collection, in my view, is not a bad thing – it’s an asset.

Overall, I kind of interpreted this as a way to get out his jilted lover, wrongfully-ended relationship feelings. Some of it was catchy as hell, but on a whole it seems  a little cheap. The first three tracks were the best.

#001 – Matt

Matt Rebeiro is one of my best friends in the entire world. We went to high school together and live like twenty steps away from each other. He graduated from Mohawk’s radio program in 2014, and has a radio show on CKLU with his counterpart who is also named Matt. Matt’s one of the funniest people I know and he has a massive digital collection of music. He also has one of the most diverse record collections I’ve seen.

I sat down with Matt on Friday and we talked about his collection. This is the first in a hopeful series I want to do. Thanks for being a test dummy Matt! YES!

The questions I asked are in bold and Matt’s responses are regular, if there’s any confusion.

What was the first record you owned?

The first record was Good and Evil by Tally Hall which I bought in 2011. When I actually got that record they gave me a trophy for being one of the people to buy the record. Everyone who bought the record got a trophy. It was what number I was, which I believe was 411 out of 500. I actually got that record before I had a record player.

What kind of turntable do you have?

It’s a basic Sony turntable that I actually have at my friend’s house (the other Matt), but I’m planning on buying a new one soon so I’m probably just going to let him have that one. I got it about four years ago new from Biancos.

Okay, what’s the weirdest record you own? I know that you have a few. 

Well there’s that Chuck Mangione, which isn’t really weird, it’s just that I see copies of it everywhere so it’s funny. Matt has my best one right now, it’s the Hot Stovers one that was created for the Canadian hockey team, so the A side is English and the B side is French.  I have a good number two though. Which is definitely going to be the Insane Clown Posse record.

Released on Jack White’s Third Man Records, hence the gradient background on all of his albums, and he plays guitar on this track which is a cover of Mozart.

Really?

Yes. A cover of a gross Mozart song which roughly translates to “kiss my ass,” but literally translates to “lick me in my ass.”

God. Okay, what’s the most recent purchase you’ve made?

Weird Al Yankovic’s “Another One Rides The Bus,” which was the first single he ever released. I got it when I was in Toronto last weekend for NXNE. The clerk at the counter was super excited when he saw that I found it. I bought that and a pack of Yo! MTV Raps trading cards, which exist, and they’re from 1993.

Do you have any records by your favourite band?

I have several records by They Might Be Giants!

Okay, lay ’em out!

I will! I have “Join Us,” I ha-

What was that white one, with the design on it? Go back!

Apologies To The Queen Mary! [Wolf Parade]

Oh right, jesus I wish I had that. 

I found that for pretty cheap, like 13 bucks.  Oh, here’s my Owen Pallett record signed by him.

He signed it in pen so it doesn’t look like much. Also, that smudge is somewhere different on every single one of his records. Here’s The Unicorns on pink vinyl.

Oh!!! Where did you get that? Can you take it out? 

Yes. Of course I can, it’s gorgeous, it’s pink vinyl.

God, I only had it on CD. 

I remember you had it on CD because you bought it in New York City and you seemed pretty excited about owning it because no one knew who The Unicorns were.

I’ve never put this on the turntable because it’s too pretty. And I mean, listening to music digitally is so much easier. Vinyl for me is just to have something pretty. That’s why I buy it.

Okay, what record have you bought at a show? 

All my They Might Be Giants albums I have bought at shows, my copy of In Conflict by Owen Pallett was bought at a show, this Anamanguchi single I bought at a show, which is worth taking a picture of because it’s lenticular… the cover is animated.

And that one’s signed by the band. Oh, I still haven’t gotten those They Might Be Giants records out yet. We are gonna get all of my They Might Be Giants records in this picture. Or most of it, I think some of it might be at my Dad’s. I should probably get their new album soon.

What would you say the percentage of 7”s to 12”s you have? 

I don’t have that many 7”s, I’d say about 33 to 67. I have a lot of 12”s that are singles, like the Vampire Weekend Step release for Record Store Day. I should really start finding a place for these singles other than in the space in my crate.

I know you said you were going to get a new turntable, do you have any plans for record storage?

I wanna get one of the milk crates that are properly sized for records, because as you can see they only fit diagonally. I know that there’s an IKEA shelf that’s really good for records. Here’s another recent purchase – Thomas Dolby’s “She Blinded Me With Science.” I bought that Cosmic Dave’s on Record Store Day.

Okay, I think we’re done. Do you have anything else you’d like to add?

Records are expensive.

#001 – Turntable Rant

Jesus.

I gotta say, I’m all for new things in the field of turntables… however, this crosses the line to totally gimmicky/trendy.

The Floating Record Vertical Turntable by Gramovox.

From their Kickstarter:

The Floating Record is a high-performance turntable that plays your records vertically through built-in, dynamic, full-range stereo speakers (or via RCA line out). We reimagined turntable technology that uses audiophile-grade materials and components. The result is a visually and mechanically sound way to experience vinyl music.

Floating Record (TRADEMARK! TRADEMARKED NAME!)

Cool. Alright, I’m seeing some components here that are vaguely similar to Pro-ject’s elemental and RPM turntables… no real base for the vinyl and similar belt drives.

Here’s the Pro-Ject Elemental.

Ok, so there’s one very obvious difference between the two, you’ll say. It’s a FLOATING FUCKING RECORD!!!! You’ll say.

I’m completely not interested in this concept. Here are a list of things that should float:

• Beach balls
• Styrofoam
• Toy boats
• Corks
• Life jackets
• Real boats

I would really like to know exactly how this machine will hold up when a person is walking around their living room. Will it skip? You are expected to place all faith in the “record clamp” which is screwed in to hold the record in place. I’m afraid of gravity here. It’s easier to lay a pen on its side than to stand it up.

Carbon-fibre tonearms are highly revered right now, so good on them for including that. Again though, I see how it’s fully-adjustable, but wouldn’t gravity interfere with how the tonearm is pushed up against the record? I see that tracking force is applied (it’s factory set) with a spring, but I don’t know how that would last over time… as a kid, I always fucked up a slinky pretty horribly.

The Floating Record (trademarked… don’t sue me… please…) uses an AT95E cartridge. I have no real problems with Audio-Technica cartridges, I use one on one of my turntables, but my theory is that it was chosen not for its supposed “smooth high end,” but for its user-friendliness. This isn’t really an audiophile cartridge… more like a “plug and play” kind of deal.

Which leads me to the dreaded plug and play aspect – with the built-in speakers and amp, like everyone’s favourite Crosley… but with the option to completely bypass the speakers and plug in your own. But really, what’s the point. Unless you’re concerned about which way you want your speakers to face, the 15W amp is really nothing to work with.

Also, it comes with a felt mat, which I wouldn’t advise using really because it comes with a built-in acrylic platter. The felt mat and the increased weight from the clamp would add some unnecessary static… and, thanks to gravity, the felt will eventually wear down and bend from being so straight all the time.

This next part made me cover my eyes and my Mom was concerned. Brace yourselves. Under “Ease of Use,” they have a video demonstrating how you can put the vinyl on the contraption. Watch if you dare.

Yikes. Dropping the tonearm like that can’t be good for the record OR the needle. Also, pushing the vinyl into place… everything about the hands in that video… god no.

In conclusion, if you are interested in getting this turntable because it looks cool because it “floats,” think about how sad your records will be.

How could you make Richard cry?

With a $349 minimum for backers to purchase one of these (and $55 shipping to Canada), you are better off investing in a good system with individual components. Down with plug and plays!

Verdict: On the “yikes, really, are you serious” scale: 5/5.

#001 – Constant Of The Week

At work I have a lot of time to listen to new music. At the radio station it’s pretty much what I do all day, and although it’s a little draining (note to bands: don’t send an email asking for airplay and linking me to your iTunes album page where I have to buy the album), every day I find a new thing that I become obsessed with.

Well, this was from a few weeks ago, but I’m still listening to it. I brought the album to the record store and listened to it twice today… and I’m listening to it right now as I type this.

Anyways, when we get an envelope in from a label like Telephone Explosion it’s always a nice treat. Like a little burst of Christmas. I half expect scary confetti to come out of the package. Where am I going with this? Oh yeah. BEHOLD:

I don’t need to make this smaller.

Mick Futures – Banned From The Future!

I love that cover. Banned From The Future looks like how Hotel California is written on that album by the Eagles. Also the pink/salmon colour was my favourite colour in grade one… I took special speech classes because I had a lisp and when I could pronounce S properly salmon became my favourite Crayola crayon. Pretty happy that the album put that back in my brain.

This may seem like a shameless Sudbury plug, but it’s just so good. It’s good for cleaning, it’s good for driving, it’s good for pretending you’re a windmill in a mosh pit (but standing on the edges because you’re scared your beer bottle will break). Nothing I can say about this album is particularly revolutionary, it’s been said before by AUX, Chart Attack, Vice, and probably some cool German blog that I haven’t read yet. Anyways, if you like listening to those corporate bigwigs I just mentioned, then you should be sold on this already.

I also really love what it’s tagged under on the Telephone Explosion preorder page – jean jacket DEVO is so funny to me!

It’s hard to pick a favourite track… it’s a solid album from start to finish. He’s Not For Us sounds like a corrupt robot. Whatever You Want is like you’re watching someone on a swing  but it’s sped up. A Few Pieces is like when you’re really dizzy from spinning around. Living On Dark Street is what I imagine surfing at night would be like. Or basically just getting up to no good without the distractions of smart phones and cameras and stuff. Goofing off without trying to look cool. I guess this album is multi-sensory… it’s versatile. You don’t need to be in a specific mood to enjoy this. It’s unsettling in that good way.

The vinyl pressing is of very decent quality. I like that it’s not bogged down with a gatefold, it’s very straight and to the point. It also keeps the costs low – I picked up my copy at the album release show for $15. The preorder is $12, and I imagine that shipping it won’t be too much, so overall it’s an insane value for what you get. If you like having fun, feeling like a weirdo badass when you’re alone, and maybe have heard of Mick Futures vaguely before… then you should already be listening to this.

Verdict: On the You Dummy, Why Aren’t You Listening To This Already Scale: 5/5.

#001 – National Anthems Of The World

Title: National Anthems Of The World

Artist: The Vienna State Opera Orchestra

Released: After 1961, before 1979

Acquired: Pile of discarded records at record store

This was an accidental find in a pile of unplayable records I scooped up from work for an ongoing project. There’s a few scratches, but it was mostly the dirt that bothered me. After a clean I found it to be playable on one of my crappy systems. Sounds okay.

I’m super confused when it comes to the date it was released. The Vienna State Opera Orchestra recorded an updated version of national anthems in 1994, and when I visited the iTunes page for the album it gave no indication of this earlier release.

I can’t find Uinted Kingdom on a map!

After doing a quick search on the label, Everest Records, I found this 1961 catalogue and couldn’t find it on there, but I’m super interested in the “Classical Spice Shelf” release they have listed… someone has to have that around!

This album really sparked my interest because I have a weird lifelong interest in flags (stemming from one of the only “computer games” we had as kids… it was an interactive atlas with a quiz function) and because I love history. It’s weird to think about how Russia was the Soviet Union, and how the Soviet Union’s flag was just accepted as it was, whereas we are accustomed to Russia’s current flag. These are things that keep me up at night.

So it looks like Everest Records is a now-defunct classical music label based out of Long Island.

I also found the conductor on IMDB. Hans Hagen (who was born at 8:15 a.m. and is an Aquarius, which, according to Glamour Magazine’s horoscope compatibility meter, means our friendship would be “difficult but rewarding”) died in 1979, so there’s no way this could really have been recorded after.

The back of the album features notes written by Giveon Cornfield, who was a former executive at Everest. Some interesting highlights:

• The oldest existing national anthem belongs to the Netherlands. Called Wilhelmus Van Nassouwe (William of Nassau), this anthem has been around since 1626.
  • If you think that O Canada is hard to remember, well, this baby has fifteen stanzas. They name drop a lot in it too – six different guys are mentioned. If I wrote about six guys in one song, people would think I’m weird.
• “Quebec’s nationalists, of course, have their own fiery anthems, but these are unlikely to gain wide currency.”
  • Cornfield seemed pretty unbiased up until this point (he even just talked about anthems during Hitler’s time in Germany and Mussolini’s time in Italy without much opinion). What happened, Cornfield?

Verdict: This is my first one, but it is definitely one of the weirdest I’ve ever found. I’m rating this a tentative 4/5 on the weird scale.